Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Do happily married husbands cheat?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I don’t buy bullshit

I can read

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What is your review of House of the Dragon Season 2 finale, Episode 8?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What are some ballbusting stories?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I buy a house, do I automatically own all items the previous owner failed to remove from the property?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Is it possible for sociopaths to feel genuine remorse for their actions or thoughts towards others, even if they are skilled at hiding it from others?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why do my friends always say "yeah, we've heard this before" when I talk about something I'm passionate about?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why do some children hate their parents?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?

I see through liars

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand how hurricane paths work

What are the best examples of reverse psychology?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”